It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
