If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
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