This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
