I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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