VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
