i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
