so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
