Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
