Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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