Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
