Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
