Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
