Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
