Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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