The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
