Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We left the knife in your bed.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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