College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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