He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
