bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
