I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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