as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
