As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
