you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize