Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We're too hungover to prance.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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