please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
