at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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