Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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