Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
