Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Come on in and take your pants off
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