My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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