Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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