I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
