I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
