I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
