I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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