he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
there is glitter all over my balls
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
