The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
