There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
someone owes me an orgasm
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
