what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
