I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
