i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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