Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
