There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Randomize
