your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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