Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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