Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
