just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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