How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
