operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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