I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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