Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
