Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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